05
Jan
12

Movie Review: Segunda Mano

There should be a name for a sub-genre of films repeating the formula of another successful movie to ensure favorable box-office results. It is a trending sub-genre. Consider Hangover II. Just a repeat of its predecessor. Not a sequel but a work of creative toddle. Hoping to entice the same audience who trooped to cinemas, the producers of Segunda Mano consciously or unconsciously duplicated Dalaw, a Kris Aquino-starrer. The Queen of Multi-Media said, “Kaya kong itataya hindi lang ang pangalan ko, kundi pangalan ng buong angkan namin, na it’s the best 20 minutes I’ve ever seen of any movie I’ve done.” Please. Do. Not. Make. This. Bet. Please. I love local horror films and it is not a good sign if I CANNOT REMEMBER the first 5 minutes. It is all a blur after the initial scenes. So. Please. Do. Not. Stake. The. Aquino. Name.

IS IT DALAW OR SEGUNDA MANO: choose the letter.

1. A female ghost who had an affair with Kris Aquino’s husband or lover is haunting her.

a. Dalaw

b. Segunda Mano

c. Both

2. The lead male character is younger than Kris and has a great set of abs. 

a. Dalaw

b. Segunda Mano

c. Both

3. There is one specific character acting as a comic relief. Ugh. 

a. Dalaw

b. Segunda Mano

c. Both

4. Murdered near a car. Is it too hard to think of another location where to kill a person? That is a fair question. 

a. Dalaw

b. Segunda Mano

c. Both

5. Climactic scenes include Kris in VERY PHYSICAL stunts. 

a. Dalaw

b. Segunda Mano

c. Both

6. The culprit is the leading man. Spoiler. Right. Got a problem? 

a. Dalaw

b. Segunda Mano

c. Both

7. There is a twist. Even before the credits started YOU KNOW THERE IS A TWIST SOMEWHERE. I bet some filmmakers think of a twist first before the plot and the general narration. 

a. Dalaw

b. Segunda Mano

8. Oh. It feels like another Patayin sa Sindak si Barbara (PSSSB). Secrets. Revenge. PSSSB is a classic so please stop TRYING to out-PSSSB, PSSSB. Attempts are going to fail.

a. Dalaw

b. Segunda Mano

c. Both

9. You paid good cash just to see Kris scream and scream more.

a. Dalaw

b. Segunda Mano

c. Both

Mostly A’s: You have not seen Segunda Mano.

Mostly B’s: You have not seen Dalaw.

All C’s: Congratulations! You are a discerning moviegoer.

EXPLANATION:

1. Female ghost

DALAW: Karylle

SEGUNDA MANO: Angelica Panganiban

2. Younger leading man with great set of abs

DALAW: Diether Ocampo

SEGUNDA MANO: Dingdong Dantes

3. Comic relief

DALAW: Gina Pareno

SEGUNDA MANO: Bangs Garcia

4. Location of murder

DALAW: near a car

SEGUNDA MANO: near a car

5. Kris and the stunts

DALAW: kicking and hair pulling

SEGUNDA MANO: violent fight

6. Leading man as the culprit

DALAW: Diether is the real reason of the ghost haunting

SEGUNDA MANO: Dingdong killed his wife

7. Twisting the twist

DALAW: it is not the ghost of the dead husband but that of the dead girlfriend

SEGUNDA MANO: the ghost is not the killer but the protector*

8. Barbara-influence

DALAW: dead woman takes revenge from the other side

SEGUNDA MANO: dead woman takes revenge from the other side

9. Blockbuster screams of Kris 

DALAW: You will hear it.

SEGUNDA MANO: You will hear it.

*There is another twist.

RATING: C-

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