Posts Tagged ‘the professional heckler

13
Jun
11

Live-Blogging: The NBA Finals 2011 Game 6

9:39AM WIN OR DIE. Dallas Mavericks leads with seven after a Shawn Marrion put-back.

9:45AM FINALLY brought the Starbucks tumbler I have been meaning to use in the office.

9:49AM LeBron James commits an offensive against – of all people – JJ Barea. The hell is he thinking?!

9:51AM Dirk Nowitzki makes a three-point basket gives Mavs a 6-point lead in the third chapter of the all-important Game 6. 72-56.

9:52AM James gets the ball but loses the ball in the fast break. Mavs last touch. Wade DOING all his best to give his team a fighting chance. He seems to be losing his temper after getting called an offense against Brian Cardinal. Keep it cool. Lazy Butt James is having another personal meltdown.

9:57AM Gloria Estafan rooting for Miami. Let us hear it from the original Miami Sound Machine! Gloria Estefan>Jennifer Lopez.

9:58AM Udonis Haslem sinks both freebies cuts lead to 5.

10:00AM Black coral probe in the Senate. Haslem rebound results to another offensive put-back. Jason Terry answers back with a high-looping drive. Looking for Tyson Chandler. He’s sitting in the bench after committing 4 fouls.

10:01AM Juwan Howard fouls Marion. Freebies. 76-71, Mavs.

10:03AM 58% foul-throw shooting for the Heat. Jason Kidd punishes them with a 3 on the other end. Score stands at 79-71 for the Mavs. James misses first but makes second freebie. Awful shooting.

10:05AM Twitter Trending: Dear Dirk. Sample: “Dear Dirk, with all these bricks, you could start working on a house for someone.” FUNNY.

10:09AM Erik Spoelstra emphasizing MENTAL STABILITY. Hoping James is listening. Haslem gets fouled. 81-73, Mavs.

10:11AM Wade making things happen. Drives strong gets fouled but misses a freebie. Cursed or something? 81-75, Mavs.

10:12AM Mario Chalmers fishes a foul on Nowtzki. Shooting freebies. SLOWLY CLIMBING. Doing it despite a mental fart from James.

10:13AM Wade is DOING EVERYTHING. But Barea SILENCES THE CROWD. Then gets the rebound on the end of the court. Terry steals the ball. Haslem fouls him.

10:19AM Stopping. Popping. TERRY SCORES. Double-digit lead. Heat turns the ball over.

10:20AM James MISSES EVERYTHING. Did not hit even the back iron. Mavs side: Barea whizzes past the defense for another basket.

10:25AM If James misses that offensive put-back, the Heat should sell his contract for a discount after the series.

10:26AM Nowitzki scores. Wade gets stripped. Velociraptor recovers the ball and scores plus a foul. Chalmers steals the ball. Forces a basket. Chandler blocks him. Mavs ball.

10:33AM IS THE GAME SLIPPING FROM THE HEAT?

10:34AM The hell is Chalmers thinking? Nowitzki scores.

10:35AM James did not fought for the loose ball. Michael Jordan is LAUGHING SOMEWHERE. “He is supposed to inherit MY MANTLE?!”

10:36AM DAMN. NOWITZKI. CUBAN STOOD UP.

10:37AM “LeBron is terrible!” — Joseph Yeo

10:39AM TERRY KILLS HEAT WITH ANOTHER JUMPER. James also scored.

10:40AM James bricks a three. Some fans are leaving the arena. The bloggers WILL BE HAVING A FIELD DAY.

10:41AM Dear Dirk: Congratulations!

10:42AM 18.8 seconds to go before LEBRON JAMES CRY.

10:43AM Chalmers hits a three after a Spoelstra time-out. Heat putting up some press. TOO LATE. TOO FREAKIN’ LATE.

10:44AM There it goes. MAVS ARE THE CHAMPS!

10:50AM David Stern presenting the Larry O’ Brien and the Bill Russell MVP. Dirk deserves it even of he bricked a lot of shots tonight. Rick Carlisle Oh. Mark Cuban requested the Stern to dedicate the their first championship to Mavs first owner. CLASSY.

10:52AM “This team has so much heart. So much dedication.” — Mark Cuban

10:53AM “I have an announcement: our owner is now available for interviews.” — Rick Carlisle. THEORY: Successful coaches has a CELEBRITY LOOK-ALIKE. Phil Jackson = Jerry Garcia. Pat Riley = Gordon Gekko. Rick Carisle = Jim Carrey.

10:54AM Dirk wins it.

10:56AM “I just can’t believe the journey.” — Jason Kidd. Congratulations. Your career did not Malone.

IN THE TWITTER SIDE OF THINGS:

  • “Congrats Dallas!” — Maria Menounos
  • “Y’all gonna let me have it. Bring it. See @KingJames and @dwadeofficial this what happens when I believe. Still proud of y’all.” — Marlon Wayans
  • “Congratulations Dallas Mavericks.” — Donna Brazile
  • “Not your fault Spoelstra. LeBron just can’t do it.” — Boyet Sison
  • “The Decision is history. Let the Derision begin.” — Andy Borowitz
  • “Dallas! Kidd gets his first chip. Hell. Yes.” — Ali Peek
  • “Shunga mo, LeBron. Umuwi ka na!” — IC Mendoza
  • “Oh well. I’m happy for Jason Kidd. The Kidd is now a man.” — Paolo Valenciano
  • “Dirk, Kidd, Terry and Barea just showed everyone the kind of heart you need to have to win a championship. Congratulations, Dallas. 105-95.” — Chesca Litton
  • “Iiyak na si Dirk.” — Gabe Mercado
  • “Can I say that again? NO RING FOR THE KING. Mission accomplished. Thank you Mavericks.” — The Professional Heckler
  • “Dirk. Damn. So much respect for him now.” — Nic Belasco
  • “Congrats to my wife and her favorite, the Mavs.” — Ogie Alcasid
  • “People be sippin’ on that haterade. Don’t hate the player. Hate the team that didn’t win.” — Demi Lovato
  • “Congrats to the Dallas Mavs! They played with Inigo Montoya perseverance. Dirk has a kind energy. I LOVE RAISIN OATMEAL COOKIES!” — Josh Groban
  • “What an awesome NBA season. Didn’t expect the outcome to be like this. But that’s why I love the game.” — Brian Viloria
  • “Miami Cold.” — Matt Besser
  • “Still proud of you, Coach Spo! Heat will be back. Hopefully, wiser, stronger and tougher.” — Noli Eala
  • “Congrats to the World Champion Dallas Mavericks!” — Kenny Smith
Let us end this amazing basketball season with this video.
Jason Segel: “There is no way that LeBron will ever be Jordan. Call me when LeBron has six championships.”
Kid: “That’s YOUR ONLY argument?”
Jason Segel: “THAT’S THE ONLY ARGUMENT I NEED, SHAWN!”

FINAL SCORE: 105-96

KEY STAT: THE HEAT JUST GAVE UP. THERE.

Post-script:  “In the movie theater, I put my phone on LeBron mode so it wouldn’t RING.” — YouTube user

…and a FUNNY blog post from The New York Times.

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